New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
