think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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