If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
