the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
