Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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