Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
