I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
