Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
