I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
