Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
