Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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