SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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