so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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