Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
