He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
