Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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