My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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