i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
