Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
