Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
