1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
