can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
