My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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