Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
