i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
