Did you just see the Batmobile???
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
tell me about the eggs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
