i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
