I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
