There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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