What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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