Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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