He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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