do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize