My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
