She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
