Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
