And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
