i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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