Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
