is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
