Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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