Got a toothbrush?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
