At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
