i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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