oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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