they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
