you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
