I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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