Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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