Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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