Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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