you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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