well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
